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| Tip of the WEEK |
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Welcome...
"Once you have been through Module One you will be more professional, deliver with more impact, and achieve more of what you want through powerful communication. But improvement doesn't finish after the courses. You will undoubtedly want more help and ongoing support. These pages and web files will offer you weekly tips and guidance to help you continue to grow in professional communication techniques and performance." Lorna D Sheldon, Managing Director, CWI |
Tip
of the Week
Do You Really Need
to Ask, "Why.....?"
Over the
years I've heard all sorts of tips and nostrums about how to make
business conversations run more effectively. Some of these
so called 'obvious truths' can be quite destructive - such as 'Ask
Open-ended Questions'. But we've all been on the receiving
end of someone trying to ask open questions when we've just walked
into a showroom or talking with a new contact. When we don't
know someone or have known them a short time, these
questions feel quite intrusive and we usually reply grudgingly,
with the shortest answer we can get away with. Like, "I'm
just looking, thank you" or "I don't know." Worse, the
person asking open questions early in the process, is actually
destroying the opportunity to create the relationship they need to
move the persuasion process forward. We can't wait to make
an escape. In these early stages of meeting ask closed
questions that allow yes and no answers. Your gut feeling
will tell you when it's right to ask more delving questions which
may involve asking open ended questions which then need a lengthy
answer.
Open
questions start with words like - Which, Where, Why, How and When.
But the word 'Why' can create problems and unexpected answers that
take us off track. Asking a 'Why' question will very
often produce a reply that starts, "Because......". The
other person restates the reason they took an action or made a
decision and reinforces the original decision process in their own
mind, thereby entrenching and defending their original actions.
Once someone has re-justified their commitment to a course of
action it's much harder to now start to change that view. On
the other hand asking 'Which', 'Where', 'How' and 'When' questions
require explanation rather than justification and will help you
understand better how the other person is thinking.
Note:- Make sure your tie, when knotted reaches, but does not extend much below your belt. Too short and you draw an observer's eyes to your midriff (or overweight stomach). Too long and you'll look like 10 year old schoolboy wearing his first 'big boys' tie.
Tip of the Week Don't Move! We get the chance to see all sorts of senior management speak in public and to their teams. We recently had the opportunity to see senior officers of the Army in action on their feet. Both feet and one at a time actually. When you move do so on purpose - not as an instinctive shuffle and walk to make yourself feel comfortable - or what you think looks comfortable. The Officers we saw almost all moved about to look casual in a setting that really didn't call for relaxed briefings. When you speak, stand upright and firmly in one place. Feet apart about shoulder width, stand tall but not stiffly. All movement, gestures, expression and emphasis, should be coming from above the waist. If you need to move, move with purpose - move to a new position and stay. Move for a reason - to emphasise a point, to move closer to a prop or demonstration equipment, to move to a member in the audience, or move closer to speak lower and with more authority. Don't wander! Stand firm. This gives you an air of authority and makes you look comfortable in your surroundings. Tip of the Week Smile How many presentations have you been to where the speaker fails to connect with the audience? In our courses on relationships we discuss and identify how important it is to relate to buyers, clients and audiences. No relationship - no sale. No relationship - difficulty in getting your message over. No rapport and you don't even get through the door. The easiest way to show you want a rapport, a meaningful business relationship, and that you want to connect with someone, is to smile. And I don't mean a cheesy, ingenuous grin, I mean a real, warm, SMILE. That comes from having the right inner mindset. In our own minds, when we want to achieve what we see as too much for the occasion, we get nervous and stressed. Our inner dialogue becomes, "What if we get refused, what if I get an outright rejection, what if I make the approach and then feel crushed"? It's almost impossible to smile and feel warm thinking all that. The answer is to change the expectations we have from a meeting, a presentation and a conference. Changing your mindset is even about opening up to the possibility of failing - but so what? Some of our projects fail, some people will never like us, some events are badly run. Its hard to accept. Try to plan around what is realistically achievable - we might make 10 new contacts but that's not the same as 10 orders. We might meet with some senior management and not meet the Managing Directors we expected. But we might meet with someone who wants exactly what we have to offer leading to the biggest order of our life. Life is full of surprises, excitement, set-backs, new people to meet - start to enjoy it and accept it. The next time you meet new people, make a presentation, or develop a proposal with management, SMILE from your heart. Show them that you really want to connect, really want to understand how you can help them. If you work on their agenda rather than your own you'll find it so much easier to smile and relax. And so will they. Don't have expectations and don't make assumptions about what you'll get from a meeting. Try to address the audience's and the client's agenda. Don't have unrealistic expectations. Expectations are the source of high levels of stress and tension that will work against you building a meaningful, warm relationship with clients and audiences. SMILE and make your aim in every meeting to demonstrate how you want to help. Tip of the Week Ties and Scarves Be aware - people actually do look at what you wear. I know that sounds obvious but...... What you wear will have a positive or negative influence on those you meet. They will start making judgements about who you are. They will get distracted if you wear something they feel inappropriate or visually disturbing. A few warnings - and they pretty much apply whether you are a man or woman:-
Remember - wear a silk tie or scarf - anything else looks like you don't you care. Try neutral tie - probably mid-blue, dark blue, maroon. Plain ties look great - but have to be immaculate and look absolutely like new. Try a neutral small pattern, one that doesn't distract. Tip of the Week Opening and Closing a Question and Answer Session How often have you attended a conference or seminar and the question is posed," Do you have any questions?" It's usually followed by a long silence and the host looking embarrassed. Let me share with you five of the many rules regarding Q&A sessions. Rule One - the Q&A session is a continuation of your presentation. Don't change style or personality. You'll throw your audience into wondering why the person they have just been listening to so intently has suddenly changed into a chummy, mate or a bumbler. Continue in the same professional way as your presentation. Rule Two - Rehearse you Q&A session as you did the presentation. Rule Three - Open your session with the statement, "May I now have the first question?" Wait a few moments and if one doesn't come quickly from the audience 'plan B' comes into play. You will have given a question to an audience member or a friend with instructions to ask it at this point. Answer your planted question and with luck this will prompt the audience to follow-on. Rule Four - Place a time limit on questions and have a plan to deal with those that cannot be answered at the time or when time runs out. Keep to time and don't over-run your timed slot. Rule Five - When finished leave the room. Don't thank everyone, it sounds ingratiating. I suggest you say something like, "I would be delighted to speak to anyone following this event; my details are available on the hand-out". Now leave the room immediately - I've seen too many great speeches then spoilt by the speaker hanging about and looking like they have nothing better to do. Look like you have pace, a busy schedule, look like you have another destination you must get to now - LEAVE.Remember - the Q&A session is an extension of your presentation (don't change personality, pace or attitude). Everyone's time is precious and you need to keep to the agenda and timing. Place a question in the audience to start it off just in case the audience doesn't react. Leave professionally - don't thank them (-say you were delighted to meet them instead) - look busy. Tip of the Week Opening your Speech I'm going to start with a "don't". Don't use a joke to open your speech. Unless that is the purpose of your speech and it's an after-dinner event or you're a professional comedian. For the rest of us, it's easy to mess up the telling of a joke, and once done, if it goes badly, there's no way back. Don't open with a joke. What do we want to achieve with a good opener? We want the audience to sit up. We want to grab their attention. Get them nodding in agreement, or mentally say that's a good point, this is going to be a great speech if it carries on like this. We are on safe ground if we start in any of five ways. Our opening statement can be:-
In each case these opening comments will be less than 50 words and very relevant to the body of the speech that now follows. Remember we want them to nod in agreement, or be grabbed by our opening point and have the first question on their mind right then, answered. Do you know what it is? They think, "I do hope this isn't going to be boring. Are you going to bore me?" In your first few words, show them your speech will be riveting. Tip of the Week Pause Before You Speak Most presenters want to show how enthusiastic their presentation is going to be by starting off fast and with impact. Unfortunately the audience hears very little of this type of opening. When we meet and greet people our minds process a lot of information - but it's mostly visual. We are picking up body language and signals that are telling us a lot about the person who is in front of us. You may already know that when communicating a message, the impact you create is made of up your words, your voice and your body language. It is of great concern to learn that your words only create 7% of the impact, but your voice creates 38% of the impact and your body language creates some 55% of the impact. This shows how important it is to consider body language and unconscious signals. We process this visual information for around the first 5 seconds of meeting or seeing someone. We don't at this point listen. When you next start a presentation or a speech, add a few seconds of silence before you start - known as a pause. Smile at the audience and keep quiet - they will accept that you are just waiting for them to calm down before you speak. After 5 seconds they are ready to start listening. Now you also know why dress, stance, how you walk to the podium, how you smile and connect with the audience in those first 5 seconds is so important. The audience has made some decisions about you before you say a word. Remember - at the start of your talk the audience is sizing you up; they are looking at your clothes, your face, your stance and perhaps trying to remember how you were introduced. Don't speak for 5 seconds. Stand still and smile. Now they are ready to listen. |
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